At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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