I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
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I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
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Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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