you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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