wanna go halves on a baby?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize