maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
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That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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