D3 body, D1 cock
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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