I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
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So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
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He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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