I wish i was in the wii world.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
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i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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