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I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
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