And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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