shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize