You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
did you just send me my own nude
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize