Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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