nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
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