I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
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Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
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I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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