Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
organizing the empties. That sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize