her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
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she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
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I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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