the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize