doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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