the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
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You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
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Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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