He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize