You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize