he wants to bone in the snuggie
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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