girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize