I'm jealous of your bromance
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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