She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize