Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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