I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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