I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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