Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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