so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
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According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
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Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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