There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
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This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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