you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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