He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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