Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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