Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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