I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
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Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize