why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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