I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize