guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
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