dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
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