forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
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It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
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its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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