I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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