I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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