just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize