I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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