my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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