her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
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I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
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this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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