Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize