you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize